POLYAMOROUS & OPEN MARRIAGE THERAPY
A Framework for Loving Without Limits.
Whether you're navigating jealousy in an established polycule, considering opening your marriage, or building a thruple, you deserve a therapist who truly understands the complexity of ethical non-monogamy—without judgment, without needing education, and with the tools to help your relationships thrive.
ONLINE THERAPY FOR POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIPS, OPEN MARRIAGES, AND THRUPLES IN THE BAY AREA & CA
When Love Doesn’t Fit the Usual Script
WHAT IS LIKE
You've tried explaining your relationship before, but the moment you mention multiple partners, you see it—that subtle shift that says they don’t get it. Or worse, you feel judged.
Maybe you're considering opening your marriage, but every conversation spirals into fear.
What if this ruins what we have?
What if we can't handle the jealousy?
What if one of us falls in love with someone else?
The excitement you initially felt has turned into anxiety, and you don't know where to turn..
Perhaps you're already polyamorous, and it's harder than you expected. The jealousy is real—even though you chose this path intellectually, your emotions haven't caught up. You watch your partner light up about their new connection and feel inadequate instead of compersion. Then guilty for feeling inadequate.
Maybe you’re in a triad or thruple where two people have history and the third feels like the outsider. Despite everyone's best intentions, an invisible hierarchy is at play. Or your metamours can't stand each other, and you're exhausted from playing mediator. Communication feels exponentially more complicated.
What it’s like to work with me
Some days it feels less like “abundant love” and more like a juggling act where someone always ends up disappointed.
Broken promises around time are crushing you. You agreed to have a date night Thursday, but your partner's new connection had a crisis. Again. You're exhausted from trying to show up fully for multiple people while managing work, maybe kids, your own needs.
You want support from someone who truly understands the challenges of loving multiple people in a world built for couples. You don't want to spend therapy sessions explaining what a metamour is.
Cultivating the Version of Love That Actually Works for You
Research shows that polyamorous relationships can be just as healthy and satisfying as monogamous ones. The difference isn't the structure—it's the communication, emotional regulation, and attachment security you bring to it.
A Systems Approach to Polyamory
My background in organizational systems gives me a unique lens for understanding polyamorous relationships. Polycules function like intricate systems—each relationship affects the others, patterns emerge, and small changes ripple through the entire network. I identify these patterns and create strategic interventions that strengthen the whole system.
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While the system is complex, the people within it are whole. I take a holistic approach that looks at the individual person and the entire relational system, drawing from evidence-based methods like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Gottman Method, and grounded in attachment theory. I address the emotional, relational, behavioral, and systemic factors that shape your relationships.
As a San Francisco Bay Area LMFT, I’ve spent years specializing in polyamorous relationships and ethical non-monogamy. Whether you’re opening up for the first time or managing a complex polycule, you won’t need to educate me about your relationship model—whatever you’re facing, from NRE and jealousy to boundaries or metamour conflict, we can begin the real work right away.
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I'm a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (LMFT) in California specializing in polyamorous relationships and ethical non-monogamy.
My therapeutic approach is rooted in attachment theory and draws from evidence-based methods including Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Gottman Method, Imago Relationship Therapy, Relational Life Therapy (in training), and Systems Theory & Organizational Dynamics.
My background in organizational systems gives me a unique lens for understanding polycules as interconnected networks where each relationship affects the others.
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I bring real-time tools to the table – from conflict resolution and reparations techniques to immersive role-play and personalized practices. I might even add some homework to deepen your practice between sessions.
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In our weekly/biweekly sessions, I take a dynamic approach. Whether it's you and your partner or a larger polycule, I tailor our meetings to your unique needs and pressing issues.
The weekly/biweekly cadence is not just a routine; it's a deliberate strategy to ensure the integration of new breakthroughs, tools, and habits into your life. This consistent rhythm allows for lasting change to settle, fostering a transformation that goes beyond the confines of our sessions. Need to dive deep quickly in a shorter amount of time? Learn more about intensives and couple retreats.
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Couples therapy and marriage counseling with me bends to your life. Online sessions? Check. Separate or together, your choice. Flexible timings? First come, first served. Learn more
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The weekly cadence is not just a routine; it's a deliberate strategy to ensure the integration of new breakthroughs, tools, and habits into your life. This consistent rhythm allows for lasting change to settle, fostering a transformation that goes beyond the confines of our sessions. For deep dives into specific areas, explore my intensives.
how i can help
A Holistic Approach Informed by Relationship Science
While the system is complex, the people within it are whole. I take a holistic approach that looks at the individual person and the entire relational system, drawing from evidence-based methods like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Gottman Method, and grounded in attachment theory. I address the emotional, relational, behavioral, and systemic factors that shape your relationships.
As a San Francisco Bay Area LMFT, I’ve spent years specializing in polyamorous relationships and ethical non-monogamy. Whether you’re opening up for the first time or managing a complex polycule, you won’t need to educate me about your relationship model—whatever you’re facing, from NRE and jealousy to boundaries or metamour conflict, we can begin the real work right away.
A Systems Approach to Polyamory
My background in organizational systems gives me a unique lens for understanding polyamorous relationships. Polycules function like intricate systems—each relationship affects the others, patterns emerge, and small changes ripple through the entire network. I identify these patterns and create strategic interventions that strengthen the whole system.
The Roadmap to Thriving Relationships
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Considering polyamory but paralyzed by fear? We'll evaluate your relationship's foundation, explore both partners' true motivations, identify potential pitfalls, and create a gradual roadmap—so you open from strength, not desperation. You'll know whether this is right for you before making irreversible choices.
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Jealousy isn't a moral failing—it's information. We'll identify what's driving your insecurity (fear of abandonment, comparison, unmet needs), develop self-soothing techniques that actually work, and help you experience genuine joy when your partner lights up about someone else. This is where intellectual polyamory becomes embodied reality.
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Using Emotionally Focused Therapy, we'll heal insecure attachment patterns that show up across all your relationships, create emotional safety with each partner individually, and develop the capacity to remain regulated even when partners are with others. Security isn't about control—it's about trust.
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Broken promises around time erode polyamorous relationships faster than anything else. We'll establish explicit schedules that honor all partners, learn to say no without guilt, create emergency protocols for when life happens, and build time equity (not just equality) so no one feels chronically neglected.
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Dismantle couple privilege that makes thirds feel disposable. Manage new relationship energy without abandoning established partners or breaking agreements. Handle metamour tension without becoming the permanent therapist. Whether you're in a V, triad, or larger network, you'll learn to recognize systemic patterns and intervene strategically.
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Learn to express needs without defensiveness, navigate three-way (or more) conversations where everyone feels heard, repair ruptures quickly, and communicate across your polycule without playing telephone. You'll develop skills that work for complex systems, not just couples therapy adapted for polyamory.
You are in the right place to design your unique roadmap for intentional, secure love
Dedicated Guidance for Your Relationship Architecture
OPENING YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Build a solid foundation before opening. Assess readiness, explore motivations, establish agreements, and prevent common pitfalls through preparation.
POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIPS
Judgment-free sanctuary for the exploration of boundaries, consent, feelings of jealousy, and communication within less-traditional relationship dynamics.
TRIADS &
THROUPLES
Navigate the unique challenges of triadic relationships with skill and clarity, rebalance couple privilege, and ensure equal voices for everyone.
JEALOUSY, METAMOUR & NRE CONFLICT
Develop emotional resilience and establish functional boundaries. Transform jealousy into compersion, manage NRE disruption and metamour tensions effectively.
MONO-POLY RELATIONSHIPS
Bridge relational differences when partners vary in orientation. Explore compatibility, negotiate boundaries, and co-create sustainable non-monogamy.
LGBTQIA2+ & MULTI-CULTURAL POLYAMORY
Unequivocally affirming support for diverse identities and cultures. Therapy grounded in intersectional, liberatory, anti-oppressive frameworks.
Your version of love can thrive. If you're here, you're closer to thriving than you think.
faqs
Common Questions About Polyamory & ENM Therapy
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THE THERAPY PROCESS, SIMPLIFIED:
1. Free Initial Consultation:
A complimentary 15-minute phone call to assess whether we're the right fit. Click here to schedule a free consultation now.2. First Session: Guided Couple Intake:
A comprehensive 75-minute guided couple intake session, also known as the “couples therapy assessment.” This session allows me to gather valuable insights into your relationship history and the reasons bringing you to therapy.3. Individual Intakes:
Individual 60-minute intake sessions are conducted for each member of the couple or polycule. These sessions delve into personal histories and the unique reasons for seeking therapy.4. Weekly Couples Therapy Sessions:
Weekly sessions are scheduled for 50 minutes each. This regular cadence is not just a routine; it's designed to ensure the integration of new breakthroughs, tools, and habits into your life. The consistent rhythm facilitates lasting change that extends beyond the confines of our sessions.Couples therapy with me is solution focused and based on re-establishing an emotional connection with your partner/s, while building deeper levels of interaction, communication, and intimacy. As there is a no one-size-fits-all approach, I use an eclectic mix of modalities such as Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT), Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), Gottman Marital Counseling, Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) and Nonviolent Communication (NVC) techniques.
ADDITIONAL OPTIONS:
Emergencies
Depending on availability, I offer last minute booking 50 to 75-minute sessions with flexible timing to address pressing issues promptly.Couples Retreats and Intensives
For those seeking an in-depth exploration of specific issues, I provide Therapy Intensives and Retreats. -
No. I work with people across the entire spectrum—from those curious about opening their relationship to individuals in long-established polyamorous structures.
Who I work with:
Monogamous couples considering opening up
People actively exploring ethical non-monogamy
Established polyamorous individuals and relationships
Those questioning if polyamory is right for them
Serving Diverse Relationship Structures:
Polyamorous relationships (hierarchical & non-hierarchical)
Open marriages & open relationships
Triads, throuples & larger polycules
Kitchen table & parallel polyamory
Solo polyamory & relationship anarchy
Couples exploring or transitioning to ethical non-monogamy
Mono-poly partnerships
V relationships & other configurations
Inclusive & LGBTQ+ Affirming I work with clients of all genders, sexual orientations, and relationship configurations. Queer polyamory, straight polyamory, mixed-orientation polycules—all are welcome.
You don't need to have it figured out to start therapy.
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Absolutely. Therapy before opening your relationship can prevent common pitfalls and build the foundation for successful ethical non-monogamy.
The process:
Assess readiness - Evaluate current communication and attachment security
Explore motivations - Ensure both partners are genuinely enthusiastic
Define "open" - Clarify what each person envisions
Create agreements - Establish disclosure, boundaries, and protocols
Build skills - Develop tools before you need them
Common mistakes to avoid:
Opening to fix existing problems
Rushing into dating without preparation
Assuming rules prevent jealousy (only skills do)
Starting therapy before opening—or through a couples intensive—significantly increases your chances of navigating the transition successfully rather than learning through preventable crisis.
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Yes. I provide therapy for triads, throuples, and larger polycules in various configurations.
Session options:
Whole group - All three (or more) people together
Specific dyads - Focus on individual relationships within the triad
Individual sessions - One person processing their experience
Combination approach - Alternating formats as needed
Triad-specific work addresses couple privilege, equal decision-making power, and communication for 3+ people. For intensive relationship work, explore my couples intensives program.
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Mono-poly relationships can work and be fulfilling when both partners are genuinely comfortable with the dynamic—though they require exceptional communication, differentiation, and mutual respect.
What we address in therapy:
For many people, polyamory or monogamy is an innate orientation, not a choice—they're wired that way. We'll explore whether this represents core identity or flexible preference for each partner, how both partners can maintain their sense of self while staying emotionally connected, whether there's genuine comfort or one partner is agreeing under pressure, and what specific relationship structure could honor both orientations.
Possible outcomes:
The poly partner has multiple relationships while the mono partner doesn't (most common)
The mono partner slowly explores dating with poly partner's support
The poly partner chooses monogamy with this specific person
You recognize the incompatibility is too fundamental
Mono-poly relationships require both partners to be well-differentiated individuals who can respect each other's choices while maintaining emotional connection. Not all mono-poly relationships should continue—but with the right support, many do thrive.
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Absolutely. I celebrate diversity in all forms and provide affirming therapy for multicultural, LGBTQIA2+, kink-positive, neurodivergent, and ethically non-monogamous individuals and relationships.
My commitment:
I am an anti-oppressive therapist with a systemic perspective that incorporates intersectional, liberatory, and decolonial frameworks. I understand that your stories aren't shaped in isolation—they're woven into the social, cultural, and economic contexts you navigate daily.
I work with:
LGBTQIA2+ individuals and relationships of all configurations
Kink-identified individuals and couples
Neurodivergent folks (ADHD, autism, etc.) navigating ENM
Multicultural and interracial relationships
People holding multiple marginalized identities
I create a safe, inclusive space where all aspects of your identity are celebrated, not just tolerated. Whether you're navigating queer polyamory, kink dynamics within ENM, or neurodivergence in complex relationship structures, you'll find affirming support here.
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Therapy is an ideal place to explore that uncertainty. We'll examine whether polyamory aligns with your authentic needs, values, and capacity—without pressure.
We'll examine:
Your relationship history and patterns
What draws you to polyamory (desire vs. pressure vs. problem-solving)
Your concerns and whether they're manageable
Alignment with your values, attachment style, and life vision
Signs polyamory may NOT be right:
You're doing it only to keep a partner
You have minimal capacity for jealousy management
You lack time/energy for complex relationship maintenance
It conflicts with core values
Not everyone thrives in polyamory—that's completely okay.
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No. Therapy is flexible—sessions can include just you, specific partners, or the entire polycule depending on what's most effective.
Session configurations:
Individual - Process your own experience privately
Dyad - Work on one specific relationship
Full polycule - Address group dynamics together
Rotating - Alternate between configurations
Each person's experience is recognized and addressed. You don't need to force an "everyone present" model if logistics or comfort make that difficult.
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